peophin: (Default)
Peophin ([personal profile] peophin) wrote2013-04-16 02:33 pm

I love creative assignments like this.

So today in Sociology 101 we started on the gender and sexuality chapter. First thing in class she hands us a "heterosexual questionnaire." Right from the first question I can see where this is going, so I start laughing and fill the thing out with tongue-in-cheek answers.

Here's the full thing along with the answers I got down, for full amusement factor:

Heterosexual questionnaire

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
(Me: N/A not heterosexual.)

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
(Me: Elementary school-- it didn't stick.)

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
(Me: I did, because it's not who I am.)

4. Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
(Me: N/A not heterosexual.)

5. If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, how can you be sure you wouldn't prefer that?
(Me: Maybe I do :D)

6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?
(Me: N/A see above.)

7. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?
(Me: Because people are afraid of what they don't understand.)

8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can't you just be what you are and keep quiet?
(Me: N/A see above.)

9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they'll face?
(Me: They should be who they are and I'll support them regardless.)

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual men. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual male teachers, pediatricians, priests, or scoutmasters?
(Me: If they're not child molesters.)

11. With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
(Me: Because people think they're in love when they're not and rush into marriage.)

12. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
(Me: Because sex is awesome, according to people who've done it.)

13. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?
(Me: Have less babies, adopt children who need it.)

14. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you fear s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?
(Me: Worked for me so far.)

15. Heterosexuals are notorious for assigning themselves and one another rigid, stereotyped sex roles. Why must you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?
(Me: Good question.)

16. With the sexually segregated living conditions of military life, isn't heterosexuality incompatible with military service?
(Me: I can't even come up with tongue-in-cheek answers anymore.)

17. How can you enjoy an emotionally fulfilling experience with a person of the other sex when there are such vast differences between you? How can a man know what pleases a woman sexually or vice-versa?

18. Shouldn't you ask your far-out straight cohorts, like skinheads and born-agains, to keep quiet? Wouldn't that improve your image?

19. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?

20. Why do you attribute heterosexuality to so many famous lesbian and gay people? Is it to justify your own heterosexuality?

21. How can you hope to actualize your God-given homosexual potential if you limit yourself to exclusive, compulsive heterosexuality?

22. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. After all, you never deliberately chose to be a heterosexual, did you? Have you considered aversion therapy or Heterosexuals Anonymous?

Obviously the whole thing is a way to point out the kind of ridiculous questions that gay people get asked about homosexuality. I thought it was very clever.